Dungeon Master & Donator
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About Turtle

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    "You Will Die Edition" DM

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    normal hu-man house
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    not a dog
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    See forum signature;

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  1. Rumors around Redridge speak of a Death Knight terrorizing the land and its denizens. A recent engagement between heroes and the death knight took place in Render's Valley; there it was revealed that the death knight was none other than *dundundun* HALFORD RODEN! The entire state of Redridge is in high alert with this dangerous knight on the loose! (Stay tuned for the next event!)
  2. Nightmare Before Hallow's End < Please enjoy this tune while you read > Gather around heroes as I tell you a tale, Of ghouls, ghosts, and horseman as well. As the harvest moon grows near, And the wickerman burns away fears, Darkness descends, cascading downwards, Covering all like ebony flowers. On this night, normality shall bend, For this is the night of Hallow's End! All children, mothers, and fathers, Hide in homes, waiting for impending slaughter. A sinister laugh rings through the night, Filling all those who hear with fright. A knight of undeath adorned in armor of black, With a ghastly undead horse and a head he did lack. He flew through the sky, exclaiming his name, The Headless Horseman rides... again! Prepare yourselves, the bless have tolled. Shelter your weak, your young, and your old. Each of you shall pay the final sum. Cry for mercy. The reckoning has come! Event Overview Chapter 1: Non-content Boat (Easy Mode) Completed! Costume Spooktacular! Chapter 2: Burning (Wicker)man (Hard Mode) Canceled! Wickerman Festival (Horde Alliance) Chapter 3: The Bell Tolls For Thee (Dark Souls Mode) Completed! Horseman rise, your time is neigh. You felt death once, now know demise! "It is over, your search is done. Let fate choose now, the righteous one!" Event Rewards: "Horseman's Cursed Helmet" (SavvyKnight) "Sir Thomas's Sinister Blade" (Grinch) "Horseman's Cursed Reigns" (Sindo) "Tome of Pumpkinmancy" (Stargeek) "Witch's Flying Broom" (Denning) OOC Information (PLEASE READ!): It's the that time of year again; pumpkins, candy, costumes, and razor blades -- Azeroth's cities and towns are becoming decorated in spooky attire. This is arguably one of the better holidays (IRL) to celebrate; so I invite you all to celebrate with me Paragon-style. There will be two sets of events (all relatively the same) for both Horde and Alliance characters. These events are clearly marked in the event overview with locations and times for each part, so keep your eyes on Discord! More importantly, Angelis has stressed the need for seasonal RP. Meaning... there will be a COSTUME CONTEST, A MURDER MYSTERY, and other spooky themes for RP. Of course there will be grandiose combat and I'll be using the retail model (with a twist) but we are going to try and keep the spirit of the holiday in mind. Pre-RP for these events will be important if you want your character to get in on the festivities and have a chance at some "out of event" rewards or seasonal RP! Defend the towns of Azeroth, uncover a plot to sabotage the Wickerman Festival, and put down the headless horseman for epic rewards! DISCLAIMER: THIS EVENT CHAIN WILL BE HAPPENING OVER THE COURSE OF THE MONTH (IF DOABLE). IT WILL END BEFORE OCTOBER 31ST, SO KEEP YOUR EYES ON DISCORD FOR UPDATES. PLEASE VIEW THE DIFFICULTY SCALE BELOW AND WE'LL SEE YOU KIDS FOR TRICKS AND TREATS!
  3. Azeroth Safari: Rare Beasts & Where To Find Them! < Please enjoy this tune while you read > IC Foreword: Azeroth is a world of diverse landscapes and ecosystems; to massive mountains, deep jungles, desolate deserts, and great forests. A world with diverse topography also houses an even more diverse array flora and fauna. Creatures as mysterious as the lands of Azeroth herself; unseen and only whispered of in legends. To say we have seen every monster, every kind of planet, and every kind of beast is a fallacy. Groves and forests unexplored, and beasts that haven't been seen in centuries. Venture out into the dense and unknown wilds of Azeroth. Join Daehgan Brollhammer, wildlife specialist and enthusiast, in uncovering the rumors surrounding some of the most fantastic and terrifying creatures in Azeroth. See and fight beasts of legend. Work with allies to uncover a scheme of greed that would put Azeroth and her wildlife at risk. End the cycle of exploitation and topple a criminal syndicate. See fantastic beasts, claim epic rewards and become a champion of the wilds! "Wilderness without wildlife is just scenery." Chapter 1: Gotta Break A Few Eggs (Intermediate Mode) FINISHED! Thousand Needles Part 1: Meet Your Guide (Completed) A pleasant stroll and tour gone bloody. Tourists met with violent poachers in Highperch. Highperch was saved, however trouble has come to Thousand Needles. Aelana Sunkiss connected her mind with the Mother of All Wyvern; The Matron of Wind. She spoke of her great sorrow with her children being taken, but also mentioned they are being twisted by the magic of the Mogu Sorcerer! Believed to be in league with South Sea pirates, Daehgan Brollhammer has gone to the Speedbarge in search of intel of their operation. His colleagues at the Explorers' League have sent out a Call to Arms for Thousand Needle to bring an end to this operation! Part 2: Begg For Mercy The call to arms was heeded by numerous adventurers; together, and with help from the South Sea pirates, they managed to disguise themselves and infiltrate the poacher compound at the South Sea Holdfast. The group was successful until a freed goblin prisoner shot his gnome cell mate. Revealed by the magics of the mogu the group had to fight against void-twisted monsters. They vanquished the cobra and basilisk, but a void-touched wyvern managed to escape. After the battle Vito Flops met with a drunken plant sent there by the Explorers' League; he revealed the plans for the bombarding of the speedbarge! Heroes ignited the ridge side and destroyed the cannons. Then they thwarted their plans by destroying the portals that connected the Holdfast to the poachers main base - no animal or eggs were recovered from the portal sabotage. The base is no longer functional at this time. The last act involved helping Tony Two-Tusk retrieve his treasure and after a lengthy battle with a scorpion elemental and the Rock Boss; the group triumphed! However a more sinister plan was uncovered during their battle; the mogu seeks to dominate the mother of all wyvern; the Matron of Wind! Final Act: Matron of Wind Horde and neutral forces met to discuss the threat of the mogu to the local wildlife; but even before they could plan for a defense of Highperch, Sho-zen, made his move. Pushing the Horde and neutral forces back into the deepest parts of Highperch - all seemed lost until reinforcements arrived. A diverse group of adventurers took the challenge and braved the horrors within Highperch. They watched as a devilsaur and skyscreamer were merged into one amalgamation of flesh; a devilwing. Fortunately the Matron of Wind; Mother of All-Wyvern supported the group quickly killing the terrible monster. All seemed in their favor to face the Beast Breaker, but a trap was laid. As the matron came to face the one slaying her children, she was bound and controlled to do his bidding! A great fight took place and heroes managed to FREE the matron and sent the mogu, Sho-zen, running! Chapter Conclusion: Highperch has been saved and is now under higher protection. Druids and shaman have all kinds have gathered to help preserve and nurture the wounded population. While the healing will take time, Sho-zen is still at large. Though Daehgan Brollhammer has a mind of where he might be; somewhere with a lot of sand. Heroes: Alena, Althaes, Vito, Eleanore, Aru'nok, Justus, Doloman, Laveena, Arald, Ardrasteia, Y'lissa, Jilliana, Rock Boss Chapter 2: Dunes, Goblins, Worms (Intermediate Mode) FINISHED! Tanaris Part 1: Follow The Money Rumors around Gadgetzan whispered of an illegal egg trader in the area; his logo branded on all the eggs was a goblin being mounted by a canine. This vulgar imagery was seen by many people in the town. As there is no hive more wretched and full of scum and villany than Gadgetzan. Adventurers sleuthed around asking the local populace of the mysterious logo and the eggs associated with it. No leads were found till the group questioned a goblin; Shreev, who has been peddling the eggs from a goblin trader invested with Sho-zen. Through intimidation the group pressed him to talk; he spoke of the trader's boat and the fleet of sharks beneath his ship. However the group overcame all odds and boarded the ship and the showdown began! The trader goblin, known as Vinny Givemegold, commanded an awesome mech that he could hardly control. Some of the Tanaris coast was turned to glass by the mech's laser. He also cut his own boat in two! After a lengthy confrontation, a sea giant came the group's aid and fully disabled the mech. Captured and brought back to the Baron of Gadgetzan; Vinny spilled his guts of the whereabouts of Sho-zen and the plan he had laid out in Tanaris. Now members of the Earthen Ring scour the sands through shamanistic far sight to track him down! Part 2: Seismic Control Eastmoon Ruins became the epicenter of an epic battle between adventurers and Sho-Zen. Tracked by the Earthen Ring (easily might I mention. Almost too easily), adventurers were tasked with stopping his earth rituals. Through stealth and guile, adventurers traversed the dunes of Tanaris unseen. A great battle broke out, but was cut short as Sho-Zen sprung a trap! Three crystals sank sound into the sand and earth causing the Dune Mother to become confused and enraged. A massive worm said to be the mother of all sandworms in Tanaris. However the adventurers were privy to pissing her off with explosives as well. In the showdown, heroes leaped from wall to wall and rock to rock - a single foot setting off the Dune Mother. It was through guile and teamwork they overcame the incredibly large worm and Sho-Zen's trap. But why would the mogu go through all this effort just to destroy a few caravans? Sho-Zen's eyes are on the jewel of Tanaris; The Crystal of Domination. The gem is said to have the power to bend the will of any living beast; perhaps it was a test of its power? With this news Daehgan works with shaman and druid alike to track down Sho-Zen! Final Act: Jewel of Tanaris Shamans of the Earthen Ring have tracked down the Gem of Domination, but before they could act Sho-Zen attacked Gadgetzan. In the chaos Vinny Givememoney was freed and a collapse occured in the Gadgetzan auction house. After the attack, Daehgan Brollhammer and company are visited by Champion Sandra, a sandstone earthen from the Valley of Watchers. Sandra warned that Sho-Zen was about to take his prize! The search for Sho-Zen came to an end as heroes and Champion Sandra raced across the deserts of Tanaris. But tragedy strikes in the form of the Dune Mother! Caught in open sand the group ran and fought for their lives! Fortunately the earthen set a trap for the Dune Mother subduing and calming the Matron of Worms. Routed by Horde and Earthen forces, Sho-Zen locked himself in the vault ruins. Friendly forces pushed into the massive tomb to stop Sho-Ze, but were too late. He'd undone the magical locks that kept the stone locked within and escaped once again! Bo and Bubun, captains of Sho-Zen, faced off against heroes but ultimately failed. However the heroes of the day took two losses; as the brawl within the tomb played out, Sho-Zen freed and took the Dune Mother once again for his schemes. But his foot prints are becoming deeper and his operations are nosier - it's only a matter of time till they face off again! Chapter Conclusion: Tanaris and its caravans are saved; trade routes have resumed as normal with the occasional bandit heist, but relative peace has returned to the desert. Earthen of the Valley of Watchers took a devastating blow to their number. The greatest lost being Champion Sandra; but his bracers survived. Daehgan Brollhammer has sent out missives to the Alliance, Horde, and other factions for assistance in taking Sho-Zen down in Un'goro. Heroes: Aru'nok, Vikki, Adrasteia, Teller, Gromeal, Pok, Crane, Vivona, Bur, Rock Boss, Illmare, Laveena, Emile Chapter 3: Brawl in Un'goro (Intermediate Mode) Un'goro Crater Time: TBA Part 1: Mancing the Dinomancers Part 2: Big Dome Part 3: King of the Crater Heroes: Conclusion: TBA Chapter 4: Arena of Giants (Hard Mode) Fearlas Time: TBA Part 1: Rumble in the Jungle Part 2: Steampool Justice Part 3: Undone Chains Heroes: Conlcusion: TBA Chapter 5: King of the Jungle (Dark Souls Mode) Pandaria Time: TBA Part 1: Isle of Giants Part 2: Track the Trackers Part 3: Kun-Lai Showdown Heroes: Conclusion TBA: (See bottom for OOC information) OOC Information: So with everyone fighting the Legion on another planet, Daehgan Brollhammer has decided to use the brief reprieve from the Legion to focus on things at home. Specifically he's taking groups (that's you) and showing them wildlife that is highly unique to the region. Unique meaning that it has gone unnoticed by quest givers to kill or has managed to elude hunters/adventurers. I'm hoping that this will give the zones a little bit more flavor and be refreshing for some characters. Also just to give some love to the animals of Azeroth; they don't get enough love. So this your chance to dust off that ol' druid, hunter, or beast master! Unfortunately though, Daehgan isn't the only interested in unique wildlife. A mysterious group of poachers led by a brutal Mogu simply known as the "The Beast Shaper" has arrived in Thousand Needles. Unaware of poachers, Daehgan takes the group (that's still you) to view a rare species of wyvern, but instead the group is forced to act and thwart the efforts of egg hunters! This will happen over the course of five chapters. Each event will have three parts that vary in length. Some parts can be done in the same day, but will probably have week breaks in-between. This all depends on interest level and turn out too. By the end it'll be Godzilla vs King Kong vs Sarah McLachlan commercial, so I hope you enjoy that sort of thing. This could also be the first part of a series; Eastern Kingdoms might be next! It'll include your typical grandiose combat scenes, but will require coordination between players, and some in-character problem solving skills. I'm stretching my legs back into my DM pants, so it'll take me a bit to get fitted again, but I think you'll all enjoy it! With all my events there will be consequences and gradually they increase with difficultly in the later chapters. So bring your brains and some experienced characters. You can find the scale key at the bottom of this document! Q&A: Q: How does my character hear about this? A: Flyers posted to bulletin boards in major cities or just happen upon it Q: Is this a faction exclusive event? A: Nope bring your most neutraly neutral character or don't Q: Isn't it weird you're using a PC character? A: Probably, but he's not participating; he just serves as an exposition device and quest giver Q: What's the timeline for these events looking like? A: SUNDAY nights, MONDAY morning/night, Tuesday morning, or Wednesday morning/night; TBA!
  4. post all woofers puppers or doggos you have seen. pay tribute 2 your tiny doggo & big pupper!!! post very good doggos or very bad doggos snake puppers or safe puppers
  5. ofc this one of those meme pages no one understands the complexity of his life or the struggle he made to be the WWE UNDISPUTED CHAMPION!!!!!!!!!!!!
  6. It's the beginning of the end of the World... of warcraft.
  7. Turtle

    Tinfoil Hats

    The fact that Google has zero pictures of turtles in tinfoil hats is an even bigger conspiracy...
  8. Turtle

    Tinfoil Hats

    ... because why the hell not? http://www.mmo-champion.com/threads/1826283-quot-Council-of-Glades-quot-trademark-filled I love it when an expansion ends and all these random pieces of information are leaked - true or not. I find it semi-entertaining to theorize the next coming story or what else they could shoot down the pipe. < Puts on his tinfoil hat > SO! Council of Glades sounds like we're getting a new Guardian, Khadgar, or we are going to finally see the great snowflake (Me'dan) himself, finally. Azeroth itself is dealing with the threat of the Naga, Pirates, and all other sort of South Sea nonsense (plsplspls), so while we are out at sea and plundering all sorts of booty AU Gul'dan will, somehow, come to our Azeroth and re-lift the Tomb of Sargeras and then we end up fighting his revived Avatar at the end of it all. Then somehow that pushes us into Burning Crusade 3 or some other shit.
  10. >inb4 wowpedia/wowiki in a book that you paid 50 bucks for. But the art looks awesome - Peter Lee doesn't disappoint, but is Chris like... writing the whole thing himself or does Blizzard have a red shirt guy?
  11. That cinematic felt like a kick in the nuts. It was cool, but god damn.