Drez

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About Drez

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    Amello

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  1. JOB FAIR! Welcome to Flops Holding LLC. We appreciate you coming to our Job Fair and exploring opportunities in one of our subsidiaries. My name is Vito Flops, CEO of Flops Holdings LLC, in case the name was not obvious enough. So, let’s start your orientation by giving you a little bit of a background about our conglomerate. Although I am the big boss of this here company, we would not be able to thrive without the hard work of the little guys who preform all of the hard labor. They are the heart and soul and muscle and liver and pancreas and spleen and kidneys and blood vessels and pancreas…..wait I said pancreas twice…. Regardless, you get the idea! They are what we rely on. They make us whole and make us all rich! You can be part of this winning team, and work your way up to riches through our numerous advancement opportunities. So now, a little about the conglomerate. Our company has many other subsidiaries and continues to expand on the daily. As of current, we have multiple branches and a number of others in the process of forming. We originally started as a life insurance and alchemical goods firm, but have now blossomed into the largest company and producer of anything on King’s Bay (and surrounding territories-- which is mostly ocean, but that doesn’t matter; the world is ours!) ((**Disclaimer: the world is not ours yet. We own approximately 1/126,743,633 of Azeroth in terms of square footage.**)) That said, let me run you through our respective subsidiaries and our affiliated CEO’s/Executives of said companies. Flops Life Insurances (and drug Alchemical Goods) CEO: Vito Flops, the Gob Himself Nestled in the heart of beautiful King’s Bay, employees enjoy a nice short walk to the beach….as the building is on the beach. This was the Holdings’ flagship establishment, which originally peddled high quality alchemical goods and life insurance to adventurers, sailors, and travelers alike! From this small, humble building, our business has flourished. This building has since acted as the primary hub for alchemical and herbal goods to be supplied to all reaches of Azeroth! Additionally, the shop still continues to sell life insurance today, although due to the establishment of Flops Medical and Dental, and the high quality care provided, insurance has not been in high demand. As such any insurance agent will most likely be in Argus, scalping the heroes for any interest in life insurance. Oh also, we make medicines! The life insurance company is always hiring agents and claims adjusters, as the hostile life on Azeroth and beyond continues to be well…. Hostile. Flops Medical and Dental CEO: Vito Flops, Former Footbomb Championship MVP, Kezan, 2010 COO: Dr. Ligma Liverspritz Nestled in the heart of beautiful King’s Bay, employees will soon notice that this is an extension of the original Life Insurance Office. This outpatient, non-magical clinic (although magical healing options are available!) offers primo care for all residents of King’s Bay and travelers there-in. (Note: All Westfall Trading Company employees get reduced cost healthcare). This clinic is operated by the Flops Medical and Dental COO and Chief (and only) Resident Ligma Liverspritz. Dr. Ligma has a long standing history of community care and service, achieving her medical degree at one of the finest back-alley cartel hospitals in all of Kezan! Her compassion and skill are unmatched in the King’s Bay area…. Quite literally as we are the SOLE provider of healthcare to all sailors and residents in the area. We also offer cosmetic surgeries! Oh! We also offer surprise dentistry work on anyone who owes you money. The medical clinic is always looking for qualified healers and doctors, as they plan to expand their healthcare network in the near future. Staxx’s Pleasure Palace CEO: Bobby “Big Staxx” Finns (Denning) So, you’re at sea for months on end to deliver some bullshit cargo for the de Montarvilles. 99.9999% of your crew are sweaty dudes. You’re in your prime. Suddenly! Boom. Port. You have drink! You have some alchemical good! However, you don’t see many primo, Grade-A grass fed honeys. Well, you’re in luck! If you want to see a titty or two…. Maybe even get a phenomenal lap dance from a hooker, who we all know does not have a penis, you have to look no further! We offer the cleanest… and only adult entertainment in King’s Bay. And if your coin is right, you can go to a private room, and what happens in King’s Bay, stays in King’s Bay…. unless you have the herpes. That shit stays with you forever---- WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CAN’T SAY THAT IN THE RECRUITMENT VIDEO? Bah. Whatever. Great friends, great music, and even greater entertainment. We’d also like to welcome our newest dancer, Quel’dorei mistress named Laz’ulei (Doloman) The Pleasure Palace is planning on expanding to different regions of Azeroth, and is looking for employees! Thalmore Rum Distilleries CEO: Edward Thalmore (SavvyKnight) Our newest acquisition! We have developed a beautiful partnership with Mister Edward, and have been blessed with his rum. We were so impressed with the quality of his product, that we knew we had to integrate him into our conglomerate. It is Thalmore’s mission to carry rum to all corners of Azeroth, and we have decided to invest in his passions! We are currently establishing a second distillery in Westfall! This new addition will increase our current output by 300%! Additionally, as of the filming of this recruitment video for our job fair, Eddie has established monthly contracts with House Strike, is the exclusive rum source for House Montarville, and the Westfall Trading Company! We look forward to seeing his expansion into the Kingom of Stormwind! Oh! He also is working to establish a trading guild! Interested in Thalmore Rum? Please contact Edward Thalmore to see if he has any employment opportunities available. Flops’ Bruisers Chief Bruiser and Breaker of Bones: Bobby “Staxx” Finns (Denning) We always need people to protect our ass(ets). Please contact Bobby if you have repressed childhood trauma and need to project your insecurities by marginalizing other races, and or kicking the shit out of assholes. The Bruisers are vital for all of our operations. Inquire within if you would like to guard company asse(t)s. Flops’ Holdings is always in need of a few good men! Flops Overland/Oversea Transport Service (F.O.O.T.S) CEO: VACANT One of the most important aspects of any trade/producing industry is the ability to transport your goods to market. However, those goods that are in surplus for the King’s Bay market are transported (via our newest asset) to goblin or human markets elsewhere. It is important for us to not only transport our own goods, but also goods and people to and from King’s Bay. As such, we have purchased a 300 Kodo-Power, High-Speed, Low-Drag Zeppelin of the Sprinter class of airships. This airship is powered by Captain P.J. Phillips. Captain Phillips has piloted airships for the majority of his life, and has taken over the reigns from our Zeppelin’s previous pilot. Look at him! He’s the Captain now! The Zeppelin (and Zeppelin tower) allow us to transport less cargo than conventional ships, however we can travel faster and through harsher weather conditions than conventional means. This makes us the fastest importer/exporter in all of King’s Bay! F.O.O.T.S will be expanding rapidly in the near future as we add more vessels to our fleet of carrier Zeppelins! F.O.O.T.S is always looking for men to crew the Zeppelin and defend it on its voyages! Once we gather three vessels, we will be looking for a Sky Admiral to lead our ships into the wild blue yonder. COMING SOON! Flops Mining Incorporated Chief Underminer N. Taskmaster (CUNT): VACANT Coming soon to a hole in the ground near you. We plan on forming a number of mines to produce/provide King’s Bay with raw ore! However, we are really looking forward to attempting to find Kaja’mite! Please send your interest to Vito. We will keep your application on file. FESLA CEO: VACANT (Formerly Elon Muskrat) Innovation. Arms Deals. Battery-powered Hot Rods. These are some of the inventions we will be working on once the plan for FESLA comes to fruition. We plan to develop the world’s finest tinkering and slash or engineering lab. We’re already working on garnering RP-GG contracts, so that you may never go to Wintergrasp unarmed! Furthermore, we plan on selling Dragon Guns to help fundraise for future products! Stay tuned for more exciting news in the near future. Inquire with Vito if you would like your application to be considered and placed on file. Other departments not recruiting currently: Flops Contract and Notary Services Chief Executive Officer of Bitches and Breasteses: Drukie (Grinch) There are no positions open here currently. Drukie likes to work alone (unless you're an attractive woman). Scams, Shams, and Spams? Chief of Scams, Shams, and Pelvic Rams: Bellazi (Lunar) Assassination Services Chief of Names and Slaying Them: Sindoh (Sindoh) Benefits?! Oh right. We talked about this with the Legal Team. Okay, so you're asking yourself, wow these are great opportunities. Vito seems like a swell guy who I'd love to work form. Hell, he even wants to sell flamethrowers to anyone, maybe even children. That's the kind of freedom and liberty you just love to see in a boss. So let's focus on what you get out of this shindig besides a job and the ability to not be a bum living in the gutter. ~Competetive Pay! (**Some exceptions may apply**)~ ~Free Life Insurance~ ~Free Dental Insurance~ ~Opportunities for Growth and Advancement!~ ~Character Development Workshops (**May include being beat up for missing your shift**)~ ~Awards and Honors (if you are Employee of the Month!) Oh, and did I mention, that we will be holding a contest for our new hires? The employee who nets the most money for the company in a year from this date, in addition to also helping the company grow the most will be given a brand new HOT ROD! Who is paying for this?! Oh right, we're taking it out of Bobby's pay. So yeah! Hot Rod! Application! Please submit the following for consideration of employment: Name: Age: Race: Desired position: Desired pay: Two character references we can contact: Experience: Explain why manhole covers are round: (((Once I learn photoshop, I'll add in some pictures per company)))) -D
  2. I mean... it's fairly straightforward.... rob graves, get soldiers and Forsaken Mil progression.... that's really it. -D
  3. Dreadblade was wronged and wants to take his JUSTICE! He needs bodies and soldiers though if he is going to progress up the Forsaken ranks and kill his enemies. As such, I would like to raid the decrepit island of Tol Barad, specifically Forgotten Hill to abscond with corpses to raise. -D (Idea from @Nathaniel)
  4. After the world's longest RP, Elenores was found to be guilty of two of the six cahrgs. She is to pay a 20 gold fine and undergo comperlsery military service for the duration of the Legoin threat under Lt. Commander Alderic Bradley. -im having a storke
  5. A second report was released in conjunction with the actions of the Senior Mage. According to the ledger, the de Montarville woman was placed in a cell where she immediately became highly belligerent. She began insulting and spitting at the guards. According to the report, the Guards tried to douse the woman with water to get her to snap back to her senses, but it only seemed to further incense the prisoner. Eventually it is said, that the Mage was inciting aggression and violence in the other prisoners, before eventually being brought under control and gagged in her cell. Woman was said to have resisted during the intrusion of a prison intervention team, and was forced to the ground with clubs and fists. The woman received multiple bruises from the altercation including, but not limited to bruises on her neck, abdomen, knees, and face. Additional charges are as follows: Resisting Arrest: Chapter III; Section 43; Subsection (a) and (c). Disturbing the Peace: Chapter VI; Section 35; Subsection (a) subsubsection i Unlawful Assembly: Chapter V; Section 25; Subsection (a) and (b) Rioting/Attempting to Incite Others To Riot: Chapter V; Section 26 Assault on an Agent of the Crown: Chapter III; Section 2; Subsection 11; Subsubsection 13; Articles (a) and (b) Mischief: Chapter VI; Section 1; Articles (c) and (d) Senior Mage Eleanore de Montarville-Keirmont has been released on bail pending immediate court hearing. All of these charges are subject to said court of law, where defendants are innocent until proven guilty. On a related note, two Guards have been fired from their posts for excessive force during this entire debacle. -D
  6. Amello stood at the helm of his Frigate, "The Mako", watching the dark shadow flee into the darkness. The Kul Tiran grinned from ear to ear. This would be the second time he had sent Dalari running with his tail between his legs. The Captain ran a hand through his hair, and begin to sing to himself quietly, "We shoot the sick, the young, the lame. We do our best to kill and maim, because the kills all count the same. Napalm sticks to Sin'dorei...." -D
  7. Item Description: A magical Nightborne glaive. Deals magic damage on impact. (From Marky quest.) Item Condition: New Starting Price: 5 gold Buyout Price: 7 gold Shady or Not: No. -D
  8. A number of dissenting voices also spoke out saying that Amello would not have made this mistake (because he would have already been hanged). -D
  9. Amello rescinds his friendship with Terin. Nothing personal kid.
  10. Drez

    Stormwind Rejoice!

    Celebratory bells rang out throughout the city today as Ashkandi was finally reclaimed by the Alliance! Count Logan Theirin had undergone a perilous quest and has come out on top, with the relic weapon in tow. The blade was handed over to the King, and from there secured in the vaults below the Keep. The Count is to be honored with a tournament (soon to be announced) and was given an honorary title. Today is a joyous day for the Alliance. Stormwind rejoice!
  11. This will be officially closing, ie, the auction ending ICly in approximately 3 OOC days. Please advise. -D
  12. Welcome to Drez events, where weird shit starts happening the more tired the DM becomes. -D
  13. Duskhaven Dry and Elementium Broadsword Updated! -D
  14. Fliers and posters would be well....posted all over the major cities and towns of the Alliance, as well as the major neutral ports. The renown (and infamous to many) Commander Amello Surblade was auctioning off a number of his spoils of war and rewards from his major battles and campaigns. Alliance heroes and neutral characters would have access to the auction, but Horde characters would require an intermediary to purchase on their behalf. (OOC: Whisper me with offers for the items, and I will cross off the items that were purchased. All of these items were event rewards or retrieved ICly. Just trying to get some economy moving!!) The items currently in the Alliance Auction House: Bottle of Duskhaven Dry (Gilneas): The town of Duskhaven is known to have sunken below the waves of the Great Sea. However, Amello Surblade managed to get his hands on one of the few remaining bottles of wine distilled and aged in the sunken city. There are no special properties; just a rare bottle of wine. Current bid: 0 g Kryparite Khopesh (Rag event): Rewarded to the Lieutenant Commander during a series of events to free a number of Klaxxi elders. There are no special enchantments or enhancements to the weapon. Just an uncommon material. Lei Shen’s Orb of Command (Lei Shen): Rewarded to Amello for helping to defeat the Thunder King. The Orb is made of extremely rare Pandarian Metal (I’m psure Raz said it was Lightning Steel). The Orb passively increases spell effects (in minor regard), and the wielder is able to cast a burst of lightning strong enough to knock back an opponent a few yards (once per day). Sold: 10g Naeros Weathered Baradin’s Warden Tabard (TB): Taken from the Wardens after the final battle for Tol Barad. The tabard is a cloth symbol of the sacrifices made to help solidify the Alliance’s position in the Great Sea off the coast of Gilneas. Tattered Sunreaver’s Banner (Purge): Taken by Commander Amello after he helped lead the expulsion of the Horde (read as: Communists) from Dalaran. The piece of historical curio acts as a symbol of the former vacillate nature and bloody past of Jaina’s rule. Elementium Broadsword (Hyjal): The broadsword was recovered from a defeated Ogre working with the Twilight Hammer Cults. Although the blade is too unwieldy for normal heroes to wield, it could be used as a means to reforge other Elementium items, or just as a display case item of the time the world tree was threatened. Sold: 101g Pok (via neutral) -D