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  1. Ladies and Gentlemen, boy and girls (if you have the coin), welcome to the Grand Opening of the Blackcoin Resort and Casino! Yes, we built a --- well no we didn't build it, we bought it from that one Mogul! Yeah, you know, the one whose burgers were said to contain human meat! Yeah the one allied with the noble who kept the slave.... the Alteraci one! You got it! The Blackcoin Cartel has purchased the Casino from the struggling Goblin, and are revitalizing it! We are planning to have an Azeroth's Ultimate Fighter Competition in the gladiatorial pits, blackjack tournaments, plays and theater, and many more! Please come on down, and make sure your wallet is fat! You can win some major moolah here!** Also note, our buffet will now be hosting Taurahe Thursdays, where you can experience the tastes of Mulgore.... mmmm grass and plainstrider.... Note: We will be starting the Azeroth's Ultimate Fighter Competition shortly! It will be a 10g buy in per fighter, and a 100g purse for our winner! **Disclaimer, if you or someone you know has a gambling addiction, please send them to our Casino. ((Flops has purchased the Oasis Casino and is planning on bringing new life to it. I will be using the Casino as a basis to host/DM small events, PvP fights or just small passive gambling. I have simulators for roulette, blackjack, dice, and slot machines, which I can employ from a DM mechanic to make sure you can waste your hard earned money with me instead of AFKing in mall!)) .t BlackcoinResortandCasino
  2. I can't wait for my Turtl-E to roll a 10/20 and Corgi malfunctions. -D
  3. In lieu of a conversation with Marquis Jean-Philippe de Montarville (@RomanJ.Denning,Esq) , Trade Baron Vito Flops is now offering the above services to the Alliance for 20% off. Conversely. He is also offering a discount to the Horde in Arathi Highlands for 10% off. Limited time offer. -D
  4. The Landing of Supplies and Materiel Standard Convention The current paradigm for the landing of supplies and munitions is after the shoreline has been secured. This belief system is rooted in pragmatic and practical usage. First you secure the beach, and then you refill, resupply, and refresh your men. This strategy has been used for decades, and still holds weight today. The utilization of conventional landing techniques usually involves these transactions of supply runs to be done almost immediately after a successful beach landing, regardless of time of day. Larger landing ships can be utilized, but most often the same ships that are used are the ones that carried troops hours earlier. While there is nothing wrong with the type of vessel, criticisms arise from the other tenets of concurrent convention. Subsection: Criticisms - First and foremost, to wait until after a battle is won and a beach is secured is lacking realism. Sure, landing materiel on a secured beach is the safest, most efficient means of goods transfer, however it fails to address the notion that supplies may be needed during the fighting. To leave your men under supplied and equipped when they are on death ground is invitation for disaster. For instance, if there are significant anti-personnel barricades and traps and Bangalores are needed to clear them out, it is imperative that our men on the beach have what they need as soon as possible, rather than waiting to be supplied these items in a few hours. The retarded delivery of goods and vital items also retards momentum. - Second, standard convention states that you bring supplies immediately after a battle regardless of time of day. While the further delivery of supplies after a battle is a fine and right idea, to do so at any point in the day is dangerous. To say that one will be able to safely deliver hundreds, if not thousands of pounds of supplies in low-light conditions without issue or error is foolish. To do so in broad daylight, one may lose substance to counter-battery fire, or enemy artillery suppression. - Third, we must consider the physiology and physiognomy of the Kul Tiran Sailor. For those who row longboats, having to perform multiple combat drops of soldiers and marines is tiring. After their job is done, they prepare loads of materiel and goods and then rest while they can. These Sailors are heavily stressed physically and then allowed to rest. The problem with this is that anyone can row a longboat for an hour without fatiguing. However then having to load materiel into their boats and bring it to shore after allowing their muscles to fill with lactic acid from their earlier activities does not allow for optimized delivery of goods. Tired men with burning muscles do not deliver goods as fast as they should. It is important to note that supply craft are their most vulnerable when they are on the beach and when they are on their way to the beach. To dally even a second longer than one has to because of sore arms can and will inevitably lead to loss of goods and life. New Convention Let it be proposed that even though standard convention is useful and has its place, in a prolonged battle it does not. In the event we have men in a grinding battle on a beachhead and they do not have adequate supplies, to then wait until after a battle to resupply is foolish. In the even of a prolonged battle on the shores, a wise commander/captain must have contingencies. These contingencies in accordance with a deviation from standard convention can allow for optimized economy of force through the active resupplying of men during the fighting following the amphibious landing. As such, it should be that the wise captain has his other sailors prepare supplies on longships while the rowers rest their arms and hydrate. When someone from the beach signals (usually via flags) then the ships should launch at a moment's notice. In fact, it could be proposed that a wise captain or commander would want to continuously launch supply runs onto the beach even if the battle is not prolonged. This is because the situation on the beach is never what is planned. There are alterations and deviations and to have to wait for supplies or a signal or a request for specialized materiel, then time and momentum are being wasted. To lose time and momentum for something as simple as barrels of gunpowder is inexcusable. Each strategy either as needed battlefield landings or constant supply under fire are to be used at the Captain’s discretion as each battle is subjective and there is no right way to adapt to unforeseen circumstances. Anecdotal Evidence: When we finally had located the White Pawn and had signaled for the fleet to come in, we knew that the area to later be known as Lion’s Landing would sustain heavy assault. As it turns out, once the fleets had arrived, we had come under attack by a legion of Kor’kron ships and Demolishers. We had the beach head already, no amphibious assault needed. However, we had nothing that could handle the Demolishers. Unlike previous officers in the Pandaria campaign, I decided that forming a shieldwall in front of a Demolisher was a bad idea. We spread formation and took whatever cover we could until our Squids were able to deliver us some anti-tank. Were it not for the destruction of the Demolishers, we would have lost the beach, and with the beach lost, the demolishers could have assisted in attacking out fleet due to their close proximity to the shore. Materiel landing under fire was the sole reason we carried the day. <The treatise goes on for another forty pages describing misc. amphibious assault tactics, how to take a harbor, how to land forces subtly, and how something about morale.> (That's all I think I have for this obscure ass naval topic). -D
  5. Subsection: Special Considerations Sub-subsection: Time of Day There are many special considerations that must be included on your battle plans. Foremost among them in terms of amphibious landing is time of day. To attack in broad daylight is idiocy. Landings during the brightest part of the day allows for the best visibility, however if you can see the enemy, the enemy can see you. As such, my proposed new convention dictates, nay, requires all landings to be as soon as the sun crests the horizon. This time of day is for more than just attacking before your enemy wakes. If a you are attacking against an entrenched enemy, and with the sun at your back, the enemy would not be able to properly target you with their weapons. Attacking from the east at daybreak in conjunction with a rolling barrage allows you optimal force multiplication via the induction of confusion and blinding of your opponent. Some may argue that it would be best to sneak onto the beaches late at night when you are not visible to the enemy. While this is appropriate for stealth, recon, and sabotage missions, this may prove untenable for massed infantry and support squad landings. Unless the beach and shoreline have been mapped underwater by hydrographic mapping teams, a night time assault could prove treacherous. Your men would struggle to see rocks, reefs, and sandbars which can scuttle landing ships. Furthermore, a sinking lander full of heavily armored men is a waste of life and not the goal of any successful operation. HOWEVER! If one is to work with specialized units such as Stormwind SEALs, or other underwater demolition teams (see my work or attend my lectures on Naval Special Operations and You for more information). In summary, only small special weapons and tactics teams should be employed in a night landing unless proper hydrographics are preformed and the weather is calm. Sub-subsection: Weather and Tidesages With the Tidesage’s mastery of the sea, the threat of weather is not as detrimental to operations as it used to be. Many old-fashioned and traditionally trained captains/commanders would wait until the seas were calm and visibility was decent. This is a fair and wise idea. HOWEVER, a savvy leader can now utilize his sages to calm the local tides, part local fogs, create voids in rain and thunderstorms, and so forth. This conversation about whether or not to launch an assault in subpar weather conditions needs to be discussed with the Tidesage at the head. The sages know their abilities and how long they can maintain them. If they can only channel a parting spell for a small period of time, then it is unrealistic to launch large assaults. If your sages can calm the seas for a period of thirty minutes, then a large scale landing is feasible (should you subscribe to my postulates about speed). Now we must discuss the converse. Tidesages can alter the weathers above our enemies so that we may have easier landings. For instance, a keen sage can summon an obscuring mist over enemy fortifications and entrenchments. As such, a simple channeled spell can cause complete obstruction of enemy eyesight. Couple this with landing at the break of dawn, and the illuminated mist would be nigh impenetrable to the naked, unaugmented eye. Furthermore, one may have their Tidesage bring a thunderhead upon the enemy. Rain can destroy powder stores used in coastal defense cannons. Heavy thunder can also damage enemy materiel and positions. The only limits to weather-warfare from Tidesages are their capabilities and imagination. Sub-subsection: Predictability One of the worst facets of any operation is losing the element of surprise. Once surprise is lost success depends heavily on rehearsed plans and a commander’s ability to adapt. Adaptation is (in my opinion) one of the most (if not the most) important abilities a leader can utilize. For instance, if I am to assault a harbor and I take and hold some ground and dig in, I have to consider enemy counters. If I prepare to my front, my rear is weak. If I prepare to my left my right is weak. If I prepare everywhere, I am weak everywhere. Proper planning in amphibious landing requires the ability to adapt to the situation at a moment’s notice. Situational awareness is key to allowing for optimized adaptation and ensuring one does not easily telegraph their plans. Engage people with what they expect; it is what they are able to discern and confirms their projections. It settles them into predictable patterns of response, occupying their minds while you wait for the extraordinary moment — that which they cannot anticipate. See my work “How to Launch the Perfect Ambush” for more information on predictability. (I lied. I'll discuss materiel shortly.)
  6. Treatises on Amphibious Landings By A.J. Surblade “The Tuskripper”, Captain, Kul Tiran Admiralty FMR Commander, Alliance Military Introductions There is no naval force in the world like the Kul Tiran Navy. With hundreds of top-rate warships of the line, and decades of experience, none can withstand our might on the seas. However, due to the translational nature of modern warfare and the need for boots on the ground in addition to powerful naval support, modern armies find themselves in their most exposed during the transposition between the two major arms (i.e. the army forces and the navy). However, we must address the unique nature of the Kul Tiran military before we discuss how to best conduct an amphibious assault. First and foremost, the majority of the Kul Tiran military lies in the Navy. That said, one can expect the majority of ‘army’ type forces to be comprised of marines, unless special levies are trained and raised specifically for ground-based warfare. Due to this, it is imperative that marines, soldiers, and sailors alike be experts in the art of getting fighting men to the beaches where they need to be. To have a standing army is not suitable for the nation state of Kul Tiras, and therefore most levies are drawn from groups of marines which should have knowledge in how to properly conduct a beach landing. However, we must not assume they (or your plans) will be competent enough to fully survive any resistance on the beaches. This treatise offers an alternative logic and approach from the conventional approach to littoral warfare. Moreover, this work will function to show both combat and logistical landings, as both can and should be conducted adequately and with the proper provisions should one’s skiffs take fire or have enemies waiting for them on the shore. As such, this work is penned with the assumptions that one is operating standardized dinghies and landing craft. The term landing craft is intended for specialized barges with drop-prows, however these designs are rare and hardly used unless cavalry are needed immediately on the shoreline. As such, unless stated otherwise, the term landing craft is going to refer to the skiffs and dinghies utilized to shuttle men to shore. Standard Convention Many tacticians believe the best way to conduct an amphibious landing is for a massed landing of smaller vessels to arrive on the shoreline at the same time filled to the brim with heavily armored marines, while warships are primed to deliver broadside support. Ships are rowed towards the shore with the armored men possibly protecting the oarsmen if they feel so altruistic. Riflemen who are less armored are often to arrive in the second wave. Horses and cavalry to be sent as needed. These landings require significant coordination and time to prepare. Ships are often anchored in place off of the coast or circle in a figure eight pattern to make themselves harder targets. While this is effective and allows for adequate troops to arrive on the beach at the same time, the notion that it takes so long to muster and then launch the attack-wave allows for enemy forces to be better organized. Furthermore the landing boats often prefer to keep formation so that the waves of soldiers arrive at the same time. However, there are a few notions one must consider. - A slow moving rowboat full of heavily armored men is an easy target to prepared batteries and firing positions. Should the landing craft be sunk, the marines will have to either ditch their weapons and armor or drown. This is not an adequate usage of economy of force. - Formational landings are only beneficial to the psychological being of those in the landing ships. An inexperiences soldier may feel anxious or worried in those drawn out minute before his keel hits the sand. A veteran might feel comfort in the notion that his brothers are with him a few yards away in another boat. However that is not what we want. - Lack of diversity. The lack of different forms of fighter hinders the capabilities of each individual landing craft. As such, an initial wave of only sword and shield marines lacks range, and means to protect themselves against magical attacks. Conversely a force of rifles does not have an adequate means to protect itself from horse and blade. Lack of diversity is improper economy of force. To ensure optimal economy of force and loss of life for the other bastard (and not our glorious nation of Kul Tiras), we must make the required changes to our littoral combat approach, lest we be found wanting at the most dire of moments. Economy of Force Before the proposal and explanation of my new conventional tactics for beach landing, I must explain this term in which I have used a few times above. Economy of force. This term is a colloquialism which means that we ensure that we utilize ALL of our combat assets in the most EFFICIENT ways possible. By the adequate usage of soldiers in a combined arms roll, we will see that our economy of force and usage of force multipliers increases exponentially. More boots will get onto the sand and then onto our enemies’ throats and less men and materiel would be lost in transit. New Convention Subsection: Armed Landing With Enemy Present The first facet of the improved beach landing strategy is the need for rolling bombardment. Rolling bombardment is the gradual creep of cannon fire up the shoreline and beach at preset increments of time. The enemy can see where the cannon and explosive shot is landing, and they will not charge into it. You have effectively built a wall for your men to be protected from as they disembark or paddle to shore. As such, one does not want his rolling bombardment to become predictable. Shot should be alternated between solid, explosive, and quicklime so that there is no area on the beachhead safe for the enemy. A standard frigate has 36 guns. One broadside (18 cannon) maintains an equal potency to SIX cannon batteries (assuming Alliance convention of 3 guns per battery). As such, one can land their forces with immediate fire-superiority and land them unharmed from swarming savages. In the event that the enemy has counter-battery fire, one may split the fire from their cannons according to the force arrayed against them. For instance, the deck guns and top row of broadside cannon can fire at the enemy artillery, while the remaining fire shot ahead of their men landing. The situations in which one splits their cannon is highly subjective to the situation. Explosive shot and Quicklime are great deterrents, allowing unmolested beach landing. However, one must assume that the enemy is going to have some form of small arm or arrow in which to attack them as they land and disembark. It is now we discuss the orientation of forces inside each landing craft. A standard rowboat for landings can hold 16 men. Among these 16 men, one should have two oarsmen, two marines with shields to protect the oarsmen to and from the beach. Furthermore, there should be eight marines, two riflemen, a magi and a healer or medic. These variation in forces allow for synergy and the compensations of shortcomings form each other unit type. Marines can protect magi and rifles as healers mend the wounded and magi fend off the arcane. A combined-arms approach allows for OPTIMAL economy of force, especially when utilized with a rolling bombardment. Now we must discuss the orientation of the forces inside of the landing craft. Marines must have their shields stacked and angled like the scales on a crocolisk. The staggering in shields allows for the continued operation of the landing crafts, while also ensuring no participants fall to incoming fire before they hit the shores. Some shields can be angled to the sides of the vessel to protect the lightly armored combatants which should be kept towards the rear. Finally, we must discuss the nature of the landing itself. Compared to the old paradigm of massed waves of vessels, this new stratagem MUST BE CONDUCTED AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE. When torrential water tosses boulders, it is because of its momentum. When the strike of a hawk breaks the body of its prey, it is because of timing. Speed kills. With the protections of the rolling bombardment, one does not have to wait for the massed landing. Ships should be launched as expeditiously as possible to maximize the speed at which more men can be ferried back onto the beach. To take the momentum afforded to you and continue to drive home the advantage allows for continued success in war. To be slow in the face of enemy fire in an area of no cover like the sea, is to be faced with certain death. Note: When forces get onto the shore, the rowboats must depart back as soon as possible. Furthermore, we must discuss being on the beach with the sea and sand to your back and enemy to your front. This is the notion of DEATH GROUND. Your soldiers know that they are in a bad position and the only way to win the fight is to fight for their lives. Death ground allows for two things: one, no retreat, and two, increased combat prowess. HOWEVER, it is to be noted that Death Ground is only to be stayed in temporarily, as the main forcus of the landing should be to follow the rolling bombardment up the beach, close with the enemy, and slaughter him. Advancement up the beach should be conducted when adequate numbers are present, or when the rolling bombardment has afforded such and advantageous position that whomever has landed is able to ensure their own lives and continued success of remaining forces hitting the beaches. Anecdotal Evidence: I had developed this type of beach landing during my campaign to retake Gilneas. During our initial attacks, a diversionary landing had occurred off of the coast of the Silverpine Forest. To help ensure the success of our main forces landing in the south and reconnoitering with local forces, we had launched a devastating attack on the Forsaken Rear Guard. The outpost was quickly overwhelmed and burned as any resistance to the men landing on the beaches was held back and squashed by rolling bombardment. Following the sacking of the town, Forsaken reinforcements and Bat Riders began to harass our fleeing forces. However, rolling bombardment was using in the reverse to allow our men the chance to flee while the cannon shots drew closer to the shore, building the buffer between them and the enemy reinforcements. Note: to stimey the Forsaken aerial units, large quantities of canister shot from swivel guns and deck-guns were used to destroy any threat posed by them. Furthermore, rifle armed sailors were able to pick off any that made it through the iron curtain of grape shot. Due to these actions, we landed our entire military force safely and only suffered ONE fatality on the attack. Speed, surprise, and overwhelming force won the day. (I’ll make a post tomorrow night about materiel landings. For now it’s late and I got my thoughts on paper.)
  7. I actually really like this Tony, and look forward to seeing this fleshed out a little more. This is something I can get behind and hope some Mods hop on to help you finalize this. -D
  8. *It’s late in the evening, and you awake to see your Gnomish Television Device left on. It was that time of the night…. The time for the informercials…..The Goblin waddled slowly before the image screen, smoothing out his wrinkled clothes as he approached a chintzy desk with a number of items on it.* Yo, it’s me, ya’ boy Baron Vito Flops. I’m here today to show youse all of the goods and services offered by me and my boys here at Flops Holdings L.L.C., and the Blackcoin Cartel. We gots just the right thing for everyone! If you need someone whacked, I’m your guy! If you want someone whacked healed up, I’m also your guy. Welcome to our program today on the Goblin News Network! The first service we offer here at Flops Holdings L.L.C., is actually what helped to get our business off of the ground! LIFE INSURANCE! We have a number of capable healers and policies that will be able to help care for you or your family after death! The packages are as follows: - The Bronze Package: Ten silver a month. Following your timely, or untimely death, we will pay your family TEN GOLD. ** Terms and conditions may apply*** - The Silver Package: Fifty silver a month. Following your timely, or untimely death, we will pay your family TWENTY GOLD, and provide them groceries and protection for six months following your death! **Terms and conditions may apply** - The Gold Package: Two gold a month. If you get whacked and your mooks bring me your body, our healers will work on BRINGING YOU BACK FROM THE DEAD! *Note: Your mooks need to bring the body, not your goons. Jabronies bringing the body will result in contract nullification* **Terms and conditions may apply** To sign up for one of these policies, please see our establishment in King’s Bay. Next up, let’s just say you owed old Vito Flops some coin. Let’s say you were then involved in some terrible Trike accident when your brake lines were accidentally cut by a pair of tin-snips that you just so happened to drive over when your trike was parked. Let’s say you broke your knees in the process. Well, do we have the deal for you! One of Flops Holding L.L.C’s most prolific and effective business is the FLOPS MEDICAL AND DENTAL CLINIC! We have a flexible fee-for-service policy which will help the sick, injured, and beat-up get back on their feet! (*Note: Flops LLC does not promise the ability to get you back on your feet if you had lost them, they had fallen off from some STD from a Gnomeregan Leper Concubine, or if you had lost them, then found them, then realized it was a traumatic Shredder accident.) The fee schedule is as follows: - Overnight stay: 10s/day - Bleeding control: 2s/potion used - Dental exam: 10s/day - Plastic/Elective Surgery: 5g/procedure - Minor Illness Treatment: 10s/day *The list continues for another five minutes* Now, you might say to me, wow Vito some people have some really nice teeth from visiting your Clinic. I’d say no shit, that’s what they paid us for. But if you say you want them to get some “Surprise Dentistry” because they called your mother a cock-guzzling Kezan whore, then we have just the company for you. The BLACKCOIN CARTEL MERCENARY COMPANY AND PERSONAL OFFENSE (BCMCAPO) has capabilities to whack, reinforce, sabotage, or even make some people disappear. Note, the MERCENARY COMPANY can be bought to be used in war zones, however the opposing side will be informed of their arrival and allowed to propose a counter-offer. - Five bruisers: 50s/day - Ten bruisers: 85s/day - Debt Collection: 3 gold/job - Military Reinforcement: Fee as above for bruisers, but with a 5g security deposit per plan. - Shredder Airdrop!: One of our newest policies. We will drop five bruisers trained to operate FESLA Shredders will be airdropped from a FOOTS Zeppelin into a combat zone of your choosing. 25g/airdrop - Assassination: Price is on a case by case basis. - Asset Protection: Three bruisers follow you for a week and protect you from harm; 1.5g/week One of the most important aspects of any trade/producing industry is the ability to transport your goods to market. However, those goods that are in surplus for the King’s Bay market are transported (via our newest asset) to goblin or human markets elsewhere. It is important for us to not only transport our own goods, but also goods and people to and from King’s Bay. As such, we have purchased a 300 Kodo-Power, High-Speed, Low-Drag Zeppelin of the Sprinter class of airships. This airship is powered by Captain P.J. Phillips. Captain Phillips has piloted airships for the majority of his life, and has taken over the reigns from our Zeppelin’s previous pilot. Look at him! He’s the Captain now! The Zeppelin (and Zeppelin tower) allow us to transport less cargo than conventional ships, however we can travel faster and through harsher weather conditions than conventional means. This makes us the fastest importer/exporter in all of King’s Bay! F.O.O.T.S will be expanding rapidly in the near future as we add more vessels to our fleet of carrier Zeppelins! Fees for delivery service of goods and men are preformed on a case by case basis. Zeppelin Bombing Run: We will neutrally bomb your enemies. *Price package varies* So let’s say you’re an alcoholic who enjoys hitting your wife and children. Great! We got just the product for you! Recently, Flops Holdings L.L.C has acquired THALMORE DISTILLERIES! In the few months of our ownership, we have assisted CEO Edward Thalmore expand his empire by building three more rum distilleries around Azeroth! The rum is locally sourced from sustainable and unsustainable resources! So, if you’re looking for rum to flow through your court, or looking for fuel for something to take you to court for assault and battery, our rum is the product for you! - Bottle of rum: 10s/bottle - Cask of rum: 50s/bottle - Thalmore Special Dark Rum: 50s/bottle Next, we have the Pleasure Palace—— What do you mean we can’t talk about that here? FINE! Next up, we have the most recent addition to our holdings. FESLA! This is the tech-arm of our cartel, and is being lead by former Area 52/B.O.O.M Chief Engineer Elon Muskrat. FESLA produces some of Azeroth’s finest RP-GG’s, Shredders, and even THE BIG MOMMA! We are also developing electric powered Trikes, Hot Rods, and Shredders. - RP-GG: 25s/per - Shredder: 7g/per - The Big Momma: This is an RP-GG scaled up 100x and aimed towards your enemies. 100g/per launch - Goblin Dragon Gun: 10s/per - Crude Oil: 3.75s/gallon - Electric Trike: Coming Soon - Electric Hot Rod: Coming Soon - Electric Shredder: Coming Soon - Landmine: 5s/per - Rifle: 5s/per - Nonlethal Inerter Projector: This metal crossbow bolt is attached to a Hot Rod battery by a long cable. Use this at short range to render your enemies unconscious 50s/per So as you all can see, we offer significant services for a reasonable price! Inquire in King’s Bay! *Vito then begins to pick earwax from his overly-sized ear, not knowing that the camera is still rolling.*
  9. *Amello sighed, sitting up from his bed in the tavern. He and his band of heroes had been in the harbor for weeks now, waiting for Nathaniel to get his fucking computer fixed so we could continue the event chain. Upon hearing the gate-house explode, the Kul Tiran naval captain drew his pistola from under his pillow, cocking the hammer back into place. "Shame," he muttered peering out at the Jolly Rogers in the Bay..... Amello then wondered if they had noticed his frigate hiding off of the coast in a nearby cove.... only one way to find out.... back to work. There were pirates to lynch.* -D
  10. JOB FAIR! Welcome to Flops Holding LLC. We appreciate you coming to our Job Fair and exploring opportunities in one of our subsidiaries. My name is Vito Flops, CEO of Flops Holdings LLC, in case the name was not obvious enough. So, let’s start your orientation by giving you a little bit of a background about our conglomerate. Although I am the big boss of this here company, we would not be able to thrive without the hard work of the little guys who preform all of the hard labor. They are the heart and soul and muscle and liver and pancreas and spleen and kidneys and blood vessels and pancreas…..wait I said pancreas twice…. Regardless, you get the idea! They are what we rely on. They make us whole and make us all rich! You can be part of this winning team, and work your way up to riches through our numerous advancement opportunities. So now, a little about the conglomerate. Our company has many other subsidiaries and continues to expand on the daily. As of current, we have multiple branches and a number of others in the process of forming. We originally started as a life insurance and alchemical goods firm, but have now blossomed into the largest company and producer of anything on King’s Bay (and surrounding territories-- which is mostly ocean, but that doesn’t matter; the world is ours!) ((**Disclaimer: the world is not ours yet. We own approximately 1/126,743,633 of Azeroth in terms of square footage.**)) That said, let me run you through our respective subsidiaries and our affiliated CEO’s/Executives of said companies. Flops Life Insurances (and drug Alchemical Goods) CEO: Vito Flops, the Gob Himself Nestled in the heart of beautiful King’s Bay, employees enjoy a nice short walk to the beach….as the building is on the beach. This was the Holdings’ flagship establishment, which originally peddled high quality alchemical goods and life insurance to adventurers, sailors, and travelers alike! From this small, humble building, our business has flourished. This building has since acted as the primary hub for alchemical and herbal goods to be supplied to all reaches of Azeroth! Additionally, the shop still continues to sell life insurance today, although due to the establishment of Flops Medical and Dental, and the high quality care provided, insurance has not been in high demand. As such any insurance agent will most likely be in Argus, scalping the heroes for any interest in life insurance. Oh also, we make medicines! The life insurance company is always hiring agents and claims adjusters, as the hostile life on Azeroth and beyond continues to be well…. Hostile. Flops Medical and Dental CEO: Vito Flops, Former Footbomb Championship MVP, Kezan, 2010 COO: Dr. Ligma Liverspritz Nestled in the heart of beautiful King’s Bay, employees will soon notice that this is an extension of the original Life Insurance Office. This outpatient, non-magical clinic (although magical healing options are available!) offers primo care for all residents of King’s Bay and travelers there-in. (Note: All Westfall Trading Company employees get reduced cost healthcare). This clinic is operated by the Flops Medical and Dental COO and Chief (and only) Resident Ligma Liverspritz. Dr. Ligma has a long standing history of community care and service, achieving her medical degree at one of the finest back-alley cartel hospitals in all of Kezan! Her compassion and skill are unmatched in the King’s Bay area…. Quite literally as we are the SOLE provider of healthcare to all sailors and residents in the area. We also offer cosmetic surgeries! Oh! We also offer surprise dentistry work on anyone who owes you money. The medical clinic is always looking for qualified healers and doctors, as they plan to expand their healthcare network in the near future. Staxx’s Pleasure Palace CEO: Bobby “Big Staxx” Finns (Denning) So, you’re at sea for months on end to deliver some bullshit cargo for the de Montarvilles. 99.9999% of your crew are sweaty dudes. You’re in your prime. Suddenly! Boom. Port. You have drink! You have some alchemical good! However, you don’t see many primo, Grade-A grass fed honeys. Well, you’re in luck! If you want to see a titty or two…. Maybe even get a phenomenal lap dance from a hooker, who we all know does not have a penis, you have to look no further! We offer the cleanest… and only adult entertainment in King’s Bay. And if your coin is right, you can go to a private room, and what happens in King’s Bay, stays in King’s Bay…. unless you have the herpes. That shit stays with you forever---- WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CAN’T SAY THAT IN THE RECRUITMENT VIDEO? Bah. Whatever. Great friends, great music, and even greater entertainment. We’d also like to welcome our newest dancer, Quel’dorei mistress named Laz’ulei (Doloman) The Pleasure Palace is planning on expanding to different regions of Azeroth, and is looking for employees! Thalmore Rum Distilleries CEO: Edward Thalmore (SavvyKnight) Our newest acquisition! We have developed a beautiful partnership with Mister Edward, and have been blessed with his rum. We were so impressed with the quality of his product, that we knew we had to integrate him into our conglomerate. It is Thalmore’s mission to carry rum to all corners of Azeroth, and we have decided to invest in his passions! We are currently establishing a second distillery in Westfall! This new addition will increase our current output by 300%! Additionally, as of the filming of this recruitment video for our job fair, Eddie has established monthly contracts with House Strike, is the exclusive rum source for House Montarville, and the Westfall Trading Company! We look forward to seeing his expansion into the Kingom of Stormwind! Oh! He also is working to establish a trading guild! Interested in Thalmore Rum? Please contact Edward Thalmore to see if he has any employment opportunities available. Flops’ Bruisers Chief Bruiser and Breaker of Bones: Bobby “Staxx” Finns (Denning) We always need people to protect our ass(ets). Please contact Bobby if you have repressed childhood trauma and need to project your insecurities by marginalizing other races, and or kicking the shit out of assholes. The Bruisers are vital for all of our operations. Inquire within if you would like to guard company asse(t)s. Flops’ Holdings is always in need of a few good men! Flops Overland/Oversea Transport Service (F.O.O.T.S) CEO: VACANT One of the most important aspects of any trade/producing industry is the ability to transport your goods to market. However, those goods that are in surplus for the King’s Bay market are transported (via our newest asset) to goblin or human markets elsewhere. It is important for us to not only transport our own goods, but also goods and people to and from King’s Bay. As such, we have purchased a 300 Kodo-Power, High-Speed, Low-Drag Zeppelin of the Sprinter class of airships. This airship is powered by Captain P.J. Phillips. Captain Phillips has piloted airships for the majority of his life, and has taken over the reigns from our Zeppelin’s previous pilot. Look at him! He’s the Captain now! The Zeppelin (and Zeppelin tower) allow us to transport less cargo than conventional ships, however we can travel faster and through harsher weather conditions than conventional means. This makes us the fastest importer/exporter in all of King’s Bay! F.O.O.T.S will be expanding rapidly in the near future as we add more vessels to our fleet of carrier Zeppelins! F.O.O.T.S is always looking for men to crew the Zeppelin and defend it on its voyages! Once we gather three vessels, we will be looking for a Sky Admiral to lead our ships into the wild blue yonder. COMING SOON! Flops Mining Incorporated Chief Underminer N. Taskmaster (CUNT): VACANT Coming soon to a hole in the ground near you. We plan on forming a number of mines to produce/provide King’s Bay with raw ore! However, we are really looking forward to attempting to find Kaja’mite! Please send your interest to Vito. We will keep your application on file. FESLA CEO: VACANT (Formerly Elon Muskrat) Innovation. Arms Deals. Battery-powered Hot Rods. These are some of the inventions we will be working on once the plan for FESLA comes to fruition. We plan to develop the world’s finest tinkering and slash or engineering lab. We’re already working on garnering RP-GG contracts, so that you may never go to Wintergrasp unarmed! Furthermore, we plan on selling Dragon Guns to help fundraise for future products! Stay tuned for more exciting news in the near future. Inquire with Vito if you would like your application to be considered and placed on file. Other departments not recruiting currently: Flops Contract and Notary Services Chief Executive Officer of Bitches and Breasteses: Drukie (Grinch) There are no positions open here currently. Drukie likes to work alone (unless you're an attractive woman). Scams, Shams, and Spams? Chief of Scams, Shams, and Pelvic Rams: Bellazi (Lunar) Assassination Services Chief of Names and Slaying Them: Sindoh (Sindoh) Benefits?! Oh right. We talked about this with the Legal Team. Okay, so you're asking yourself, wow these are great opportunities. Vito seems like a swell guy who I'd love to work form. Hell, he even wants to sell flamethrowers to anyone, maybe even children. That's the kind of freedom and liberty you just love to see in a boss. So let's focus on what you get out of this shindig besides a job and the ability to not be a bum living in the gutter. ~Competetive Pay! (**Some exceptions may apply**)~ ~Free Life Insurance~ ~Free Dental Insurance~ ~Opportunities for Growth and Advancement!~ ~Character Development Workshops (**May include being beat up for missing your shift**)~ ~Awards and Honors (if you are Employee of the Month!) Oh, and did I mention, that we will be holding a contest for our new hires? The employee who nets the most money for the company in a year from this date, in addition to also helping the company grow the most will be given a brand new HOT ROD! Who is paying for this?! Oh right, we're taking it out of Bobby's pay. So yeah! Hot Rod! Application! Please submit the following for consideration of employment: Name: Age: Race: Desired position: Desired pay: Two character references we can contact: Experience: Explain why manhole covers are round: (((Once I learn photoshop, I'll add in some pictures per company)))) -D
  11. I mean... it's fairly straightforward.... rob graves, get soldiers and Forsaken Mil progression.... that's really it. -D
  12. Dreadblade was wronged and wants to take his JUSTICE! He needs bodies and soldiers though if he is going to progress up the Forsaken ranks and kill his enemies. As such, I would like to raid the decrepit island of Tol Barad, specifically Forgotten Hill to abscond with corpses to raise. -D (Idea from @Nathaniel)
  13. Drez


    Online (and settled into medical school).
  14. Drez

    Montarville's Bane

    ^ I got myself locked out of my account. Please see the above information on my behalf. -D(eus Vult)