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About Panini

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  1. I will! I’ve been here long enough to care for you guys.
  2. I was initially going to make a very large post, but I felt more and more that maybe it was simply redundant. I've been having some time to think, and I'm not sure if it's entirely what I'm going to do, but I may resign as a Dungeon Master after mine, Cagi and Angel's project is completed. I like this community, and I do care for it, but I think my interests have started becoming different. Damn, Sylvanas was right. This World is a Prison ... and by that I mean Blizzard's timeline. But that's just my thoughts. Thanks.
  3. This sounds friggin' dope.
  4. Panini

    taking time

    thanks a lot for the positive response. im glad im not the only person who sometimes feels like this. in any case, do take good care of yourselves and have fun. :)
  5. Panini

    taking time

    i havent really been active much at all. its not exactly some big secret. i mostly appear once per week, sometimes three times if im having a bout of functionality. between trying to find the energy for work, studying to go to uni and dealing with therapy, i sometimes feel unable to really be active on paragon. or on any server for that matter. the team puts in a lot of work to propel the story. i can't really do that as much, im afraid. i do my own part. but sometimes i miss a few of the days, such as when i dm'd maiev, ysera and tyrande. but often, the energy it takes to create things for players to do just isn't there. and if im honest, on rare occasions it can feel a bit taken for granted. it felt great to propel lu-se's story to where it is. ive never made a character with a story quite like his. but sometimes, it feels rather alienating to log on. and that's not a criticism. ive my own problems and sometimes they can make me think or expect things that are unreasonable. but admittedly, and yes, i know we're all busy people (work/family/school/you name it.), i sometimes feel like role play can be really hard to come by. perhaps its on me. perhaps not. maybe it doesn't matter. i'm taking the time to disconnect myself from online activities for as long as i can. i miss having fun on paragon, but in truth, i won't be able to unless i acknowledge being burnt. worst thing a creative person can do is try to create with other artists while they're limited by low energy or poor health. in my case, both. be well
  6. Deleting mall doesn't sound like a bad idea, but most people will probably find other areas to be OOC in. I don't blame people for wanting to be OOC. Tony once told me that Paragon is also a social platform, which made me realize that sometimes we wanna hang back, design our gear-sets and shitpost. I've always wanted an environment where when we log in, we're already in an almost IC situation, but I don't think our role playing platform can sustain that in the long-term.
  7. @Yoker Very insightful post.
  8. It's the primary reason why I titled my post as a controversial commentary. It's not meant to make people comfortable, but the opposite. It's supposed to make people uncomfortable because it has to strike the thought of "could it be that im part of the problem?" rather than living with the mentality of "No! It's the mods/staff/x person's fault! >:CC"
  9. This is more or less paramount, and needs to be kept in mind by everyone in the long term. I simply want to state that, no matter how emotional or burnt out we are, it gives us no excuse to mistreat our community members. :)
  10. Good day, evening or morning or whatever time it is over there. Personally for me, it's 12:28 PM by the time I'm writing this, I'm hungry and I'm sitting in my room wondering when the summer sun will have it's last gasp and give way to a hopefully tame and rainy fall. It looks like we've all had ourselves a fairly rough year, for one reason or another. And naturally, as human beings, we are all inclined to search for an outlet to our woes and our stress. I have been a role player for a very long time. I find that it helps me create endearing stories, flawed but deeply relatable characters and very fun, or just fascinating scenarios. As a dungeon master on Paragon, it's taken me quite a bit higher. And it has enabled me to express my own woes, and scratch down my own stress. Well, mostly. However. As the years pass me by and I grow more and more as a person, I've grown to realize that our community has been left with quite a few marks, in the long run. No one who has been on Paragon for more than two years can't say that they've seen some ... colorful personalities. In fact, no one who has been on paragon for that long can say that they haven't felt some degree of anger, resentment, indignation, bitterness, jealousy. All in all, quite a few feelings, aren't they? I so wish to say that they're completely justified, after all, as humans beings we need to feel those feelings in order to grow psychologically. Envy and jealousy can help us learn quite a lot about ourselves, what we want out of life and such. But it can also lead us painfully astray. We'd often end up getting the things we wanted, only to turn them into fast fading after-thoughts by the break of the next day. Why? Well, to be honest, probably because they're short-lived and never truly contributed to our character's journeys. It's rather funny, isn't it? We get into conflicts, we get defensive, we get angry. Sometimes for the stupidest of things. I've definitely been there. And in the end, I must express the following: I deeply regretted it. Not because it wasn't a teaching experience, but because I ended up thinking that it was always about me against others, my character's growth and development against another group. My character's prestige and achievements. My character's journey as a deeply flawed mortal being, with deeply rooted fears, weaknesses, insecurities. And Dreams. And I was right! In a way, it is about that. But where I was not right was in letting myself believe that it was Me Against The World. Which it never was. It only made me angry and unsatisfied. It made me a bitter person towards others out of character ... something that just never was worth it. But it also made me smarter. Because in the end I realized that what mattered most was being patient with my many flaws and working towards having fun with the people in the community. A deeply flawed community, just like any other. Yet one that can only be made better, when we each acknowledge that we make up its bits and pieces. And that it can only get better when we each work towards that. Not just the moderators. Not just staff. Not just managers. But all of us. You. The person reading this. You make up a part of this community. And although many of you will think of me as pretentious, I put my foot down and request that we all each take the time to acknowledge the objective truth: You cannot place all of your blame upon the moderators or those with authority in the server. Our community cannot and will not thrive as well as it could, if we do not grow past the idea that it's about "Us Against Them." Because it isn't. And many of you might think that you never had this idea, or carried this notion. Many don't. But many of us, sometimes even I, do struggle with it. And that's okay, because it's a work in progress. And if we learn to acknowledge our faults, if we learn to better communicate, if we learn to make better compromises, and maybe even apologize every now and then, because being an asshole to someone on any community is never okay, we could maybe all develop our community for the better. And most importantly, ourselves. It's not easy, I know this. I'm not going to say that it's as simple as everyone being nicer to one another. It's definitely not that simple. But it's a start. Because ultimately, the primary source of our conflicts that burden many of our interactions aren't black and white. There is growth to be found when we learn to question if perhaps we made a mistake as well. Because that doesn't make you any less. It makes you a shining example and someone who contributes to a greater community. And I believe we can all get better at it, one step at a time. Thank you.
  11. We'll miss you, Sayek. I know I will. Thanks for the memories.
  12. Ruis, real name Lu Se Reedwhisker, pandaren former mage apprentice. -Currently residing in Eversong Woods to get to know Silvermoons culture and the elves and their story, plight and culture. He is deeply interested in getting to know more about the elves - even if he knows they tend to poke fun at him. -He is currently in therapy, due to psychological trauma from fighting the Legion, abusive tutelage from Invocagos and childhood related issues. He’d love to spend time with people who can give him their advise and guidance. -Wants to reconnect with his pandaren roots and own culture, but struggles with feelings of isolation back home due to being ‘different’ from most pandaren. Ruis is very flexible and after therapy I’m planning on putting him back out there. But that depends mostly on you, the players he encounters! EDIT: I Have other characters! But this post is long enough.
  13. Panini

    Montarville's Bane

    I could bring Daniel or Neras into this. Only gripe is that Daniel would most likely be defending Montarville. Could be interesting. Looking forward to learning more. :3
  14. Panini

    Tis I

    Acquire tits = win well done, jules